A Wish

During the last two weeks before she slipped into semi-consciousness, my mom voiced the desire to go outside. Because she could not sit, I was afraid that she might -we might- hurt her, even badly. At least my rational side kept telling me that it was impossible.

Another side kept arguing that it just might be within the realm of possibility...

And I have reproached myself every day since she passed on.


A Wish


I thought
if we wrapped you up
in sheets and blankets
as you sailed down
in the chair,
you would hardly
feel you were sitting
at all

you would simply
greet the motion
of the oiled wheels
as part of what you'd
known hundreds of times
before your body
refused to flex

And some inner magic
would lead you
not to feel pain
as we propelled you
into the second chair
and wheeled you
first onto the porch
then into the backyard

where your always-friends
the cardinals
would hail you
with their dry chirrup
and the blue jays
would grind out
the harsh croak
that signalled their presence.

But before we could ease you out,
you flew to another place
inside the bedroom
and prepared
to seek another sky

now you arrive
every time i walk
in the yard
as I know all too well
what I could not bring you
before you left

Forgive me
if you can.
Be with me