Why don't you like me, Haddonfield?
Is it because I wore a warm jacket,
not a decorative one?
Is it because I wore a beret,
not a lady hat?
Is it because I wore unheeled boots,
It is because I frightened the lady in the bank
who edged away in shock
because I wore sweatpants?
Is it because I disgusted the girl in the drugstore
who asked, "Can I help you"
while wishing to do the exact opposite?
Oh, Haddonfield, Haddonfield,
you have a lot of growing up to do.
And let me let you in on a secret -
the next time, I may arrive
on your oh so sedate streets
with someone who is...(wait for it)